#cause the rest of the world certainly doesn't have our backs

[coldbrewpup]

actually i love all my trans sisters forever and ever no matter what

[khunyuki]

"I am not going to fall in love, Yuu. Not until we find a way home"

<Observing Deuce>

Sypnosis: You made up your mind not to fall in love the moment you arrived at Twisted Wonderland with your bestfriend, Yuu. With plenty of responsibilities on your shoulders in both worlds, do you even have time for romance? At least that's what you thought... Until a certain someone's actions caught your gaze.

Oneshot Pairing/s: Deuce Spade x reader

Notes: Deuce is one of my favorites so I'll make him first <3 I'll try to make Y/N as gender neutral as possible

Masterlist: TOC

To be a magicless student at an all-boy's school like Night Raven College, you must never ever let your guard down. Letting your guard down means exposing yourself to danger. Danger could be something as simple as tripping over a rock or something as extreme as getting involved in overblots left and right. You blame your bestfriend and your monster cat for that. With how careful you were being, they contribute with their recklessness and ability to get themselves involved in trouble tenfold. Truly, you wouldn't do anything to compromise your safety on purpose.

You weren't the luckiest person in the world but your luck becomes non-existent when in the presence of those two. You don't mind though, they spice up your otherwise boring life. Besides, you love those two to death and would do anything for them. Still, you don't appreciate the misfortunes befalling upon you whenever you guys are together.

A prime example of that misfortune would be this situation you are currently in right now. You were just exiting the library with a stack of books in your arms when you heard your name being called.

"Y/N!"

Just hearing the voice is enough for you to know who the owner is and you lift your head up to see Yuu waving at you as they headed towards your direction. You waited for them to arrive before greeting back.

"Hey, Yuu, what's up? Kinda rare for you to be alone at this time"

"Grim's at detention with Ace and i'm on my way to Monstro Lounge cuz Azul apparently wanted to talk to me about something"

"You better not go signing contracts involving us without my permission. Otherwise, i'll go and grill you and that freakin' octopus alive"

With eyes as sharp as knives, you glared at your bestfriend who just laughed sheepishly. Both of you knew that your threat will very much come true if Yuu ever as signs another suspicious contract with Azul again. And that if your hands weren't occupied at the moment, you will definitely come with them there.

"I won't, I won't! I promise! But what's that stack of books all about?"

"For tonight's study session. It covers everything related to our homework so we could finish quickly and enjoy the rest of the sleepover"

"Can't I just copy yours?"

"No"

Seeing Yuu deflate at the mention of homework made you laugh a bit. Who doesn't hate homework? Certainly not you, you just preferred to get it out of the way fast so you no longer have anything to think about. Yuu proceeded to say their goodbye and left which reminded you that you're still in front of the library doors.

Just as you were about to take your leave as well, the library doors opened which caused the person leaving to knock into you causing you to fall along with the books you were holding. Without even bothering to help nor offering an apology, the person who bumped into you left with a huff. With your delayed response, the bastard already got away before you got your hands on them.

"Y/N! That bastard I-"

"Deuce?"

The blue haired male with a distinct spade on his face immediately knelt down where you were currently sitting on the ground as soon as he got to you. He gently put his hands on your face as he inspected you closely for injuries.

"Are you okay?"

With a soft voice, in contrast to the delinquent-like voice he let out earlier, he asked if you were alright. His piercing eyes looking straight to yours combined with his hands on your face made you physically unable to move, leaving you no choice but to stare straight back at him.

"Yeah, i'm okay. What are you doing here?"

As soon as he heard the word 'okay' he instantly let you go as he breathe out a sigh of relief. Maybe he didn't notice how close your faces were to each other earlier since he was now picking up the books you dropped. You thought nothing of it, just a normal interaction between friends, that was until you saw the red dusted on his ears.

"I- I met Yuu around the corner and they said you were here so I rushed then I saw that bastard bumping into you without apologizing. Woah this is heavy, were you planning on carrying this all by yourself?"

Seeing him get up made you realize that you were still on the ground and you didn't help him pick up the books you dropped so you immediately got up and dusted yourself. The both of your started walking to Ramshackle dorm after you finished.

"Yeah, it's for our study session later"

"This is quite... a lot. But it's nothing for an honor student like me"

Seeing him gulp and somewhat deflate like Yuu did earlier then suddenly declare that he is an honor student made you laugh. You weren't laughing at him being an honor student but rather his expression, it was kinda cute. Maybe what you saw earlier was just a fluke, your mind must've been playing tricks on you. There's no way Deuce Spade would blush because of you... right?

On the way back to your dorm, you engaged in a conversation with Duece like you always did. He didn't give you back the books insisting he could carry them all which left you with nothing to hold. That's why you chose this time to observe him closely, his expressions and how he acts around you.

Looking back, you never got to closely observe Deuce ever since you got here. You were busy adjusting after arriving and staying alive from the first overblot incident that you forgot. Ace and Deuce who helped you and has been your friends since then had gained your trust so you didn't see any point in doing so. Were you wrong in doing so?

Ace was annoying and would often get on your nerves so you spent more time learning about him than Deuce who had been nothing but kind to you. You've observed almost everyone you frequently interacted with so you could say with certainty.

Amongst everyone, Deuce was the only person you never bothered learning about deeply. Why exactly was that? And why was it that you were only realizing this now?

Maybe it's time to finally learn about Deuce Spade.

Introducing Deuce Spade

Deuce Spade is one of the first few people you trust the most, having been your first friend in Twisted Wonderland along with Ace. Being in the same class has proven wonders in your relationship as you keep seeing each other and hanging out thus deepening your bond. The life and death situations you encounter together made you closer so you now see him as a person you can rely on no matter what.

Your Relationship

As a friend, Deuce Spade is someone you can always rely on as he has proven himself dependable every single time. He is kind and polite, quite a gentleman when it comes to you. You can see with the way he is always looking out for you that you are important to him. After finding out about your non-existent physical capabilities, he brings it upon himself to protect you from harm and away from danger. He will always make sure you are okay, taking your emotions into account.

Observations

After you got home from Styx Headquarters, Deuce's protectiveness seems to have gotten worse which caused you to see things you haven't before. You are now suspecting that he is somehow interested in you.

Listed below are the things he does to catch your eyes:

Deuce would carry your things for you no matter how light or heavy it is

The starting point of this observation diary is when you saw him blush after he helped you pick your books from the ground. Even before that happened, Deuce has always been helping you in carrying things. Be it your bag, your groceries, or even Ramshackle's couch. You remember how he would constantly ask you if you need help first before taking your things but as time goes by, it became so natural you didn't notice it anymore. Looking back, it seems weird how when he's around you'll just pass him what you're carrying and he'd gladly accept it.

Deuce will always choose you first. Be it talking or confiding secrets

You are reminding yourself that the two of you are just friends. It is normal for friends to tell each other stuffs and keep it as your secrets. If are with other people, Deuce will greet you first then the others, after that he focuses his attention on you. If he has good news, he will tell you immediately. If he has bad news, he will hesitate but eventually relent. It was because he made you his emotional support that you felt compelled to do the same. That's why you'll tell him about things first even before Yuu or Grim know.

Deuce is always fun to talk to and provides great comfort to you. He's a great emotional support and would ask if you're alright. You'd often find yourself staying up late just texting each other dumb stuffs. You're that close to the point that you're even talking to his mom and you also get along well! It is because of Deuce that even if you have problem, you wouldn't be heavy-hearted cause he's always by your side to make you feel better.

While you feel annoyed by it at times, you didn't mind because it's Deuce. He has a way with you that if he asks or tell you something, you'd listen intently. If it was any other guy like Ace, you'd definitely bite his head off. Maybe it's because unlike other people who demands you to do things, he will ask you first for permission.

Deuce will always protect you

You remember that time in the mines, he noticed you were running slower than them so he grabbed your arm so you wouldn't get left behind. That's when it started. You admit that your physical capabilities are low so you let him be if it will save you from the hassle or danger. During overblots, Ace and Deuce are always with you guys and Deuce will remain by your side to protect you. He would hold your wrist so he can drag you away anytime or pull you behind him, he would cover your body with his if necessary.

That's why when you're involved in trouble, he would always go to your first so he could protect you and drag you away if necessary. At school, there are thugs that like to pick up fights whenever they can. Sometimes, you'd get caught up in them which is something you hated. If you're lucky, a passing student will be someone you know so they can provide help but if you're unlucky, you just have to rely on dirty tricks. Deuce couldn't always be there but he would drop everything and run so fast just to get to you in that very instance.

If you're hurt, he'd beat up the bastard who did that to you. Even if it means breaking his promise to his mother, he will do it to protect you. So you will always stop him before he could which will make him grateful to you but regrets he couldn't protect you. His past doesn't scare you nor is his reaction to those who pick fights with him. It's because you trust that he will never bring you harm.

Deuce is a extremely reliable and a gentleman

His reliablity is the main reason he got your trust in the first place. After arriving in Twisted Wonderland, he's one of the first few who treated you with kindness and offered his help. He's proven it to you in multiple occasions so you know that you can always count on him. Not only does he come to your aid when you ask, he'd even offer it first and perform well. If he couldn't then it's fine cause he'd worry more than you anyways which will make you feel like it's nothing to worry about at all. That's why even if he isn't the person fit for the job, you'd still choose him in the end.

This was something you also unknowingly got used to whenever you're together. Deuce will always open the door for you and let you in first. He will offer to carry your things no matter how light or heavy it may be. He'd ask for your permission first before doing things. He'd let you sit first or place a towel for you to sit on. The list goes long for the things he does for you in his acts of service. He may not be a gentleman like Riddle, he tries still hard to do so.

Deuce always partners up with you

This may seem silly but you became partners in Alchemy because he keeps asking you to from the start. You didn't like it at first because Deuce isn't that bright but he isn't as reckless like Grim or Ace which makes him ideal. As time goes by, you also always choose to partner up with him first and not Yuu. You find him comfortable and fun to be around, even if you're studying together and you have to teach him. Most of your time is spent together with him as you hang out even without your other friends.

Deuce is really cute

You can definitely say that Deuce is handsome after looking at his face. His looks cannot be compared to others like Vil, Epel, Malleus, Lilia, Silver, or Leona but he's definitely above average. His face is pretty but that isn't what you like about him.

You like how clumsy he is at times like when he was talking to the plants in the botanical garden. Or when he unknowingly leans close to you and you lean back then he would be startled and apologize when he realizes. All of his reactions are cute yet genuine.

Dilemma

After you started to observe Deuce in earnest, you notice how he actually does like you in that kind of way. The things he does with you are things he doesn't do with others. Normally you do not like this kind of development, going as far as to avoid it but... It seems you have developed feelings for him as well while watching him closely. Scratch that, it seems that you've always liked him back and have only realized it now. It is always the little things that move you and that is what Deuce is about.

Your priority is to find a way back home however your heart seems to insist that you wanted something more with him.

Whatever shall you do?

Conclusion

It was just a spur of the moment as you were still deciding on what you should do. An unbirthday party at Heartslabyul just ended so Deuce is walking you back to Ramshackle. You would've gone with Yuu and Grim but you had to talk to Trey about something first and before you knew it, it was getting late. Trey asked Deuce to chaperone you back as he knows the two of you are close friends. But you can see it in his eyes that he's rooting for Deuce.

"Hey Deuce, do you like me?"

You asked Deuce as you admire the Rose Garden of Heartslabyul. You felt him stop in his tracks which made you stop as you stare at him going red.

"Umm... That's... Yes"

Maybe he thinks you were trying to reject him that he was almost crying in shame after being so flustered and admitting it.

"I like you too"

You gave him a smile. It wasn't wide with joy nor sad with sorrow. It was a normal smile that you always show to him. Something that he's used to and greatly comforts him. It wasn't just your words that makes Deuce's heart beat so fast, it was your smile that shows the ease of it as if you liking him was the most normal thing in the world.

"Wanna go out together?"

You weren't planning on confessing but you certainly weren't gonna reject when he nodded his head. His disbelief and shock wasn't gonna stop you since you could see how happy he is when you held his hand in yours intertwined.

[parasitical-if]

DEMO(Dashingdon) DEMO(Moody.ink) ——— Currently finished—Prologue, Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three. ~175k words, average playthrough ~48k. ——— His flesh, our sustenance. His blood, our drink. His bones, our foundation, His body, our haven.

Five hundred years ago, the Earth was dying. Water polluted, dirt infertile, forests and meadows crumbling to the wars of steel and fire. And so the Order called His Grace, the Lord of Communion, down from where He rested before and He allowed humanity to rest inside his body.

Or at least, that's the story the Order tells.

You grew up under the masked faces of their Exalted, under the stories of Earth past. Rusted metal and cracked plastic; His bone and His flesh. Conflicting worlds, conflicting times, and soon, it might all come to a head.

Play as a recruit of the Order, an Exalted.

Be male, female, or nonbinary.

Customize your appearance.

Romance five separate characters.

Shape yourself—are you pragmatic or empathetic? Do you speak out or remain silent? Do you trust the Order, and do they trust you?

Align yourself with different factions based on moral imaginings.

Experience a world of greater things than you can imagine, but where your choices still matter.

Tallis/Talyn/Talia: Green eyes and long, auburn hair. Your childhood friend—Or, at least, companion. They aren't the biggest fan of the Order. Perhaps that will have greater implications than simple complaints as the situation grows more dire.

August: Blonde, sharp, and severe, he's the one who brought you into the fold. A zealot, some might call him. The Order doesn't name His Grace as a God, but August certainly seems to think that He is.

El: Long, thick black hair, skin tanned and freckled. She's a mechanic of the Order. Talented, there's no doubt about it, despite her occasional airheadedness. Sometimes, you can't help but feel that she's hiding something.

Jasper: Gender selectable. Muscled either way, with dark skin and deep brown eyes. Loud and arrogant—and they have what it takes to back it up. As the first new arrival to the Commune in… all of history, they could pose as an omen or a savior. Either way, they might shatter everything that you thought you knew.

Icarus: The Head of the Order. Everything else about them is shrouded in mystery.

Copious mentions of blood/flesh(Nonhuman, not caused by violence.)

DISCLAIMER: I'm a student and a slow writer in general, so updates might not be very frequent. Nevertheless, I'll try to see this story through.

3/7/23: First posted with Prologue and 1/2 of Chapter One, ~22k words.

3/11/23: Second half of Chapter One was posted. Story now at ~30.5k words.

4/27/23: Chapter two posted, bringing story to ~47k words.

9/30/23: Chapter three posted, bringing story up to ~81k words.

10/3/24: Chapter four posted, bringing story up to ~175k words.

Up next: Chapter five. For more information, see: Forums page.

[techtalksfics]

If I had known... (Tech x f!reader)

Summary: The reader finds out that the boys had headed off treasure hunting with Phee. Jealousy, a shame spiral and soft confessions ensue.

Warnings: a little soft, fluffy love, some drinking (I swear not all of my future stories will involve drunken stupidity), some anxiety vibes.

Author's note: sorry that this was delayed, between the illness and the job applications, it's been a busy week! I hope this is not awful!

Word Count: 5.7K (oops)

Now Available: Part Two

After your shift ended, you wandered towards Cid's, bag over your shoulder, expecting to find your favourite clones relaxing between missions. That is where they had told you they would be.

Yet, when you arrived, you found the bar to deserted. Looking very much like it did in the days before the Bad Batch came crashing into your world. Why was the bar empty?

You put your bag behind the bar, out of sight and frowned. You checked your comm device for messages - the screen lit up with no new messages. No messages meant they hadn't been sent off on another mission. You walked towards the back office, hoping Cid could shed some light. Perhaps they had left for a mission in a hurry, you pondered. They normally tell you when they are heading off world. 'There is enough time between the planning and supply runs, to keep you apprised of our whereabouts', as Tech had told you. You thought they certainly would have told you tonight, particularly when you had made plans for dinner with Tech.

"Hey Cid," you sighed as her door opened. She was behind her desk, holoscreen open and was highlighting her worst features. She closed it suddenly as you entered her office. She really needed to remind you lot of manners and how not to get too comfortable in her bar. "Have you seen the guys? I was supposed to see Tech this evening."

Now that Cid thought about it, she really should've seen this coming. They'd all left in such a hurry and you were really not going to like her answer.

"They've headed off world searching for some kind of treasure," she rolled her eyes and stood. "Typical, that they'd scarper just as a new mission came in." As she walked around her desk toward you, she sighed and gave you the piece of information you were missing, "they went off with Phee earlier this afternoon." Your whole body stilled at that.

"With Phee?!" You couldn't help that her name left your throat with almost loth-cat screech. You weren't the type to get jealous, particularly when you knew Tech wasn't even your boyfriend. He was just your friend but there was still something about her unashamed flirting with him on their first encounter that continued to rub you the through way. All these many, many months later.

"Come on, kid," you felt the sharp edge of Cid's clawed fingers wrap around your shoulder, "I get the feeling, you could use a drink around about now."

Three very strong drinks in, you found yourself with your head resting on your knuckles and slightly propped up by the pillar beside you. It was as if all of your muscle had gone into your complaining and the walls presence was the only thing keeping you in your seat. "-and it's not even like he's my boyfriend or anything. He doesn't have to tell me where he's going or who he's going with." You sighed, lifting the almost empty glass to your lips. After take a sip, you continued your tirade, "it's just way she calls him brown eyes." You did your best to imitate her unique accent, which caused Cid to roll her eyes. The way she had the first time she'd heard the nickname. "They all have brown eyes," you continued, trying to ignore the onslaught of looks you were getting from Cid as you talked and talked. "Yes, his eyes are phenotypically normal for a clone but there is something so distinct in the way his eyes express what he is saying and thinking. It's the fact that she sees that too."

"Kid," Cid's voice was stern and your head snapped up to look at her once more, "face it, you've got it bad. So instead of whining at me about it, why don't you actually do something about it. Tell Goggles how you feel."

"I can't tell him how I feel!" You retorted. Cid let out an exasperated, 'oh brother.' "I'm just this little nobody who grew up on Ord Mantell, because her parents didn't want her and he's..."

"A clone?" She finished for you. "That's all he has ever known how to be. Try to remember that, kid, okay?" You shook your head and asked for another drink. She put another in front of you, though she wasn't convinced that she had made the right decision in doing so. She shook her head and walked away, mumbling something about 'there not being enough credits in galaxy for her to deal with this'.

None of what she said stopped you from downing several more drinks and seeking out Bolo and Ketch, who were playing Dejarik in the far corner of the room. Truthfully, if you'd asked them, they would say with absolute certainty that they were trying to not get involved in your chatter. But you just drunk enough to not care about that. You sat, hugging the backwards chair, legs spread across its frame and mumbling on about Phee and Tech as they continued their match. "It's not as they wouldn't make sense together," you continued where your thoughts had been left with Cid, "the mercenary and the pilot. The fact and the fiction. They'd be like a perfectly..." you burped out the bubbles from your drink in the most unladylike manner and continued, "a perfectly balanced knife of intergalactic trouble."

Bolo and Ketch simply looked at each other in utter confusion and then looked up at you, completely perplexed and unable to utter one useful word to you. This was well outside their area of expertise. You sighed. Again.

"Alright," Cid's voice came booming into the room as she re-entered the main bar from her office, "you've had enough." You must have been on your sixth drink by this point. "Come on, up you get," she'd already grabbed your bag from behind the bar and was ushering you towards the door, "go home, sober up," she pointed her finger at you with a stern glare set in her eyes, "and don't come back until you've fixed this 'woe is me' attitude. You're bringing down my clientele."

As you stumbled up the steps, you placed your hand on the hall and sighed. God this was a new low, you whined to yourself.

------------------

Omega was the first to stop you at the end of the alley. As soon as you had seen them, you had frozen in space. They had returned and the boys were clearly en route to Cid's with Phee. Visions of the last night you had been in there came flooding back to your mind. Oh god, you panicked, what if Cid told Tech about what had happened?

You wouldn't exactly put that past her.

You looked at Phee with despair in your eyes, she had her arm around a rather tense looking Sergeant. She was rambling off about something, her other arm was above her head and she exclaimed something you couldn't quite hear. Her voice certainly does travel and it certainly kept you routed in your spot.

Tech was walking just behind them and you weren't convinced he was listening to Phee talk in any shape or form. He was tinkering away on his comm device. You knew, right then, you had been a complete and utter fool. A completely smitten, idiotic fool.

Yet, you couldn't move. You couldn't convince yourself to move towards them, to shout out or make yourself known in any way. You couldn't face them.

Omega called out your name and, in the horror of seeing Tech's neck snap up to look for you, you instantly turned on your heel and ran back around the corner of the building. You could barely breathe, as those brown eyes flittered through your mind. Those beautiful, intelligent brown eyes. They were unique - no matter what he said. They were so wonderfully, uniquely Tech.

"Omega - WAIT!" You heard Hunter's stern yell. She was running after you and here you were, hiding and clutching your chest, unable to breathe. How were you going to explain this one, you groaned to yourself internally.

You heard Omega closing in on your as she called out your name again. She reached the corner and spotted you, almost jolting back as she saw you. Concern instantly washed over her features and she saw you in a thousand pieces in front of her. "Wh-what's wrong?" She questioned almost immediately and you knew you couldn't tell her the truth.

Oh, I just saw Tech and Phee and my heart just completely faltered in a stupid agony. Yeah, no - you definitely couldn't say that.

"Nothing, Omega, I'm okay. Honest," you thought you'd try.

"No, you're not."

"N-no, I'm not." You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself enough to get yourself out of this mess. You realised that the easiest way out of this was to run right through it, with your partner in crime, Omega. "Hey, do you reckon Hunter would let you run off with me for a bit? I could use some air."

"We are outside," she said with a delightfully innocent chuckle, "there's quite a lot of air out here."

"Heh -" was the only sound that left your throat, "doesn't feel like it." Reaching your hand up to your forehead, you wiped the sweat that drenched your brow. You were a mess. An utter, idiotic mess. "Let's go get some better air, Omega."

In that moment, it was clear that Omega knew you needed something, she just wasn't quite sure what that was. She played along - as she always did. You took another deep breath as Omega ran back towards Hunter at the other end of the alley. You assumed she went to explain where she was going and you heard his deep baritone announce 'alright, but don't be long'. You imagined him pointing his finger at her, fatherly fashion activated.

You took another deep breath.

But then you heard it. You heard Tech speak softly to Omega and you tried so hard not to listen. 'Is she okay?' You heard, 'does she require medical assistance?'

Oh Tech, you silly fool, you quipped to yourself. You didn't hear Omega's response but before long, she reappeared at your side, offering you her dainty hand. She asked where you were going. With a smile, you took her hand and said "let's go check out the best view in Ord Mantell."

You headed out towards the docking yard together. The Marauder sat neatly alongside a handful of other ships, currently being refuelled.

Heading over to the wall, you started to climb ladder after ladder until you reached the top landing pad. You sat yourself down, with Omega at your side. There was a gentle breeze settling in around you as the sun began to set over Ord Mantell. The orange and purple haze of the distant sunset bore across your skin as you settled down. Breathe in and breathe out. That's all you had to do.

Neither of you spoke right away, though you could tell that Omega had a lot of questions about what she had just seen in that alleyway. You close your eyes, simply enjoying the breeze.

"Are you gonna -" You smile, and cut her off.

"I'll tell you Omega," you lolled your head to the side and looked down at her. "But you cannot, and I mean cannot, repeat what you hear to the others. Deal?"

"Why would I tell the others? Are you in danger?" She queried.

"Do we have a deal?" You quirked your eyebrow at her, raising your hand towards her, for dramatic effect. As she shook it, you nodded your head decisively at her. "I..." you started and then sighed. You had found yourself sighing a lot in recent days. "I like Tech. A lot. Cid told me you lot had been off with Phee and I acted stupid and jealous about it. Drank a bit too much, talked a bit too much. So when I saw you lot, I guess I was, well, embarrassed... to say the least."

"You...like..." Omega began to process the information, repeating it in almost the exact tone it had been said. Poor child, you had just dumped far too much information on her. "Tech?"

"Yes."

"So... you hid." She queried.

"Yep."

"Even though you knew he'd seen you."

"Yes again."

"Even though that probably drew more attention than doing nothing."

"Yes. That is about the size of it, yes." You chuckled as she looked at you in confusion. "Hey, I said you couldn't tell them. I didn't say any of it would make sense."

There was a wonderfully natural laughter that settled between the two of you and you felt your cheeks heat up from the sheer embarrassment of the whole situation. She asked you why you felt the need to hide. "Because, all of a sudden, I felt my entire body collapse at the mere sight of a man and that terrified me. It all terrified me." You prayed she didn't ask you why.

"But why?"

Damn it, you internally cursed. You should've remembered her inquisitive nature was destined to be a nightmare here. When you didn't speak and instead settled your gaze back on the sunset, she continued, "you've never had a problem around Tech before. You're really the only person he takes an interest in outside of us lot." Kids got a point, you thought. "Besides, we all know that Tech likes you!"

As if hit by a sudden bolt of lightning, Omega was on her feet and was smiling in glee.

This did not bode well for you. Where the hell is she going now?!

"Omega, wait -" You found yourself yelling after her, just as Hunter had done earlier. She really did move too fast. "Omega," you called as you groaned to your feet. She'd already reached the first ladder by the time you stood. "Omega, where are you going? You're going to get me in trouble with Hunter." It was almost a beg, you realised.

It was of no use, regardless, she was already two ladders down by the time you'd gotten a foot onto the first one. By the time you'd make it half way down, she'd probably be in Cid's bar already. Before you could even stop her.

What if she was going to tell Tech. Oh, hell no. This was going to backfire so badly.

You started to climb as fast as you could, calling out her name as you went. She didn't respond. So you continued to climb down, down and down...and quickly.

Hunter's going to kill me, you groaned to yourself as your feet touched the dirt. Your older bones were not designed for chasing children around Ord Mantell.

Luckily, and much to your surprise, she had stopped at the Marauder. She was stood at the entrance, hands on her hips, waiting for you. Her face still shone with glee. Your body was still in a panic so you ran across to her, only stopping when you were within about 4 feet of her. You panted, trying to catch your breath.

Shaking your head, you asked, "okay, so, what are we doing on here?" She grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the bunks. You suddenly felt like you were invading the private mental space of your favourite clones. It was an uncomfortable level of familiarity that you had been granted, without their knowlegde.

"It's your turn to make a deal with me." She bounced on her toes, and she held out her hand. As you shook it, she nodded her head at you, mimicking your action from earlier. With a chuckle, you shook your head at her. "Tech," she began sheepishly, "wouldn't exactly like to know that I do this. I don't even know if he would want you to know."

"If he wouldn't -"

"But you need it and right now, you come first." As your curiosity piqued, you folded your arms across your chest and nodded your head, urging her on. She was going to tell you anyway. "Sometimes, I use his tablet when mine is out of battery and he isn't using it. Look -" Grabbing the device, she lit the screen and showed it to you.

Your heart had certainly stopped. You were so convinced it had.

There, in pixelated form, was the photo you had taken together after you'd stolen his goggles. Donning a silly grin, you still had the goggles on. Your head was against Tech's shoulder and his arm was around your waist. As you remembered this tender moment, you could almost feel his hand on your hip still. After all this time. His eyes were squinting in the photo, but he had a small, proud smile quirked on his lips. Almost prideful as he stood next to you.

You had never even asked to see the photo after it was taken and now, you had just wished you had. You loved it.

Well, you thought, this was certainly a new development.

---------------

When you walked into Cid's with Omega, you tried so hard to keep your head held high after earlier. But between Cid's soft squint, Omega's smirk, Hunter's titled head and Tech's sudden rise to his feet as he saw you, you felt yourself retreating inside yourself once again.

You tried to smile at Tech but the moment your eyes caught his, you immediately heard brown eyes in your head and made a beeline for the nearest bar stool instead. Phee looked between everybody, completely perplexed by the strange silence that had settled.

A drink was placed in front of you almost immediately.

"No repeats of last week's antics, kid, you got it?" Cid pointed her long, taloned finger at you and you held your hands up in defence, mumbling some form of an apology.

"What happened last week?" Hunter enunciated each word with a careful look in your direction. When you didn't look at him, he looked to Cid. Cid looked at Bolo and Ketch. Nobody said a word.

However, from the corner of your mouth, you noticed Bolo about to open his mouth. In a panic, you pulled a small hydrospanner from your pocket and threw it across the room at him, hitting him just below his shoulder. With an uproarious 'OW', Bolo grabbed his arm and looked at you stunned.

"Nothing." You side-eyed Bolo, squinting your not-so subtle point across the room, "nothing happened, isn't that right?"

"No," he repeated quickly, "n-nothing happened last week. Perfectly normal week." He affirmed and turned back around to face Ketch. He stared into his drink and the room fell silent once more.

Omega looked at you, jaw slackened. She hadn't expected you to get quite so, well, violent, in your decision to hide your emotions from Tech.

For the first time since you'd met her, you were actually glad to see Phee. An easy, long distraction is just what we need, you thought.

"So, Phee," you quickly turned to face her with a small smile, "what fool's errand were you running this time?"

And with that, question time about the previous week had expired. Phee launched into her latest bold tale, arms waiving in front of her, exaggerating each foe, each near death encounter and the bravery of her treasure hunter partner, Omega. You couldn't help but smile at that part. It was certainly a long play by play of everything that had happened during the time that they had not been around you.

As you trained all of your focus on Phee and her antics, you didn't notice Tech watching you from the pillar by the bar. His knee was bouncing absentmindedly as he rested his head on his first. He was studying you intently and unashamedly. Something certainly had happened whilst we were away, Tech mused to himself, and it was something that all of the women in the room seemed privy too. With that in mind, he decided that perhaps he would not wish to know. There was always something so terrifying about women in cahoots with one another.

With that, Tech stood, drink in hand and moved across the room to sit with Wrecker and Omega. Phee's voice was certainly less loud in that corner of the room. It was also dark enough that he could simply watch you, quietly studying the soft features of your face.

As things began to wind down for the evening, Omega had given you a gentle, knowing hug and headed out into the night with Hunter. Wrecker was snoring softly in the corner, his Lula under his arm. Guess he's spending the night snoring away in Cid's, you determined as you looked him. You went to grab your bag when the familiar voice came from behind you, causing you to jump slightly.

"May I walk you back to your domicile?" Tech asked, pulling you back to the reality of it all. He pushed his goggles back up his nose and softly cleared his throat. Those were the first words he had said to you all evening. Though you hadn't given him much chance to say anything else.

You opened your mouth, as if to protest but Tech beat you to it, "it is late, and we are both fully aware that this part of Ord Mantell is hardly safe at this time of night." You assumed this may have been Tech's way of saying he was concerned about you safety.

"Sure, thanks Tech," you smiled gratefully as he offered you his hand to jump down off the stool. Chivalrous too. Heat pooled in your stomach as you walked behind him out of the door and back up the steps outside Cid's establishment. You stepped out into the night together and you became overcome with that familiarity that settled between the two of you.

Neither of you said anything until you reached the corner of the street, well out of the ear shot of the others. Not that anybody would have been listening, really.

"I wanted to ask you about earlier this evening." Of course he did. "When you hid behind that wall." His finger lazily pointed towards the wall as you walked past it. He cleared his throat before continuing on, "I was going to discuss it with you earlier but something told me it wasn't the prudent moment to raise the issue."

"No, it wouldn't have been." You affirmed for him, he hadn't asked but you could guess that his statement was more question than statement.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine Tech." You managed to sneak a look at the clone, he was already looking at you and so your eyes danced together in confusion as you walked. You looked away, and sighed, you offered a simple explanation, "I was in a shame spiral. Omega sorta helped with it earlier. That's where we went."

"A shame spiral?" He repeated, clearly processing this phrase for the first time. "I am unfamiliar with that term."

"I would probably be more surprised if you knew it."

"And what would you be spiralling over?" He wondered aloud, slowing down to match your newly reduced speed. You were approaching your home now. Hopefully, you could sneak inside without having to explain too much.

"Phee," you muttered, "I was shame spiralling over my jealousy of Phee." You cleared your throat, suddenly feeling all of the air escaping your lungs. He didn't say another word and for that, you were so very, very glad.

However, the reason Tech was not querying you came down to one simple thing: he couldn't fathom a question nor a statement in his mind that would even begin to cover the insanity of the statement you had just made. There was no what, why, who or how that seemed to end in a plausible, logical solution. He was perplexed. Women, and their emotions, were clearly not his expertise. He had already known that. As you noticed his gaze falling forward with a slight squint, you could almost see the cogs turning in his head and in fear of the question finally falling from his lips, you decided to change the subject just enough to bring him back to Ord Mantell and out of the deep recesses of his mind. You questioned how much of the story Phee had told was true.

"Well, as is usual with Phee, certain details, including her own heroism, were greatly embellished, but I suppose for the most part, the story was correct."

That was oddly concise for Tech. He was still thing about what you had said.

"Well, it sounds like you had a wild week then," you chuckled and scratched at the back of your neck.

You'd reached the main door to the grubby looking block of flats you lived in. You had almost expected Tech to stop here and say goodnight. But he was still so wrapped up in the questions swimming through his mind that he seemed to follow you up three flights of stairs without even thinking about it and, as you finally reached your front door, he asked the question you had dreaded, "I do not understand. Why would you be jealous of Phee?"

As you unlocked your front door, you turned and sighed in his direction. His eyes began searching yours for any kind of logical explanation, but all he could find was fear, weariness and an uncomfortable uncertainty. None of those were things he wished to find in the eyes he considered to be the most beautiful in the galaxy. You leant into the door frame, crossing your arms over your chest and finally decided to simply say it, "because of how she is with you, Tech."

"That is absurd." That statement had sort of slipped off his tongue before he had given it any real thought or appraisal and boy, did he wish he had thought that one through. Before you could say anything further, justify anything further, you simply mumbled a 'yeah, well, goodnight Tech' and tapped the comm panel to close the door.

You rested your head against the door, convincing yourself that Tech would have walked away and your heart dropped. That had not exactly gone how you thought it would or even should have.

But then you could hear the muffled sound of Tech clearing his throat.

"Phee tells inconsistent stories. She talks, constantly, yet does not seem to actually anything of import. It's maddening," you smiled softly at that, "not to mention the fact we were in another life threatening situation as a result of her desire for treasure. She is often greedy, convoluted and she calls me brown eyes despite me reminding her that brown in the phenotypic eye colour of all clones. It is not distinct to me." You turned and rested your back against the door as he spoke. He began to talk through it all, through his thoughts of Phee, through their most recent exploit. You felt like you could be standing there listening to him talk about Phee for a long time. He seemed to letting loose a babble of information that had been hidden within his cool interior for so long.

Truthfully, Tech was terrified in this moment and that was why he was babbling. He wasn't even sure if you were still listening. You'd shut the door, almost onto his face.

Perhaps it was the notion that you weren't listening that was giving him the courage to carry on talking in this moment, "you have nothing to fear of Phee. Not one thing to be jealous of, cyar'ika." The final word dripped from his tongue like honey, so sweet and smooth that you were convinced you must have heard him incorrectly.

You said nothing. How could you? You'd just shut the front door to your home in his face and he was just talking at you. He hadn't said anything you didn't already know. Deep down you knew Tech didn't like Phee. That was why you had spiralled. You were being 100 per cent ridiculous, even now.

"Most importantly, she is not the person I-" You heard him clear his throat again. He was so afraid of what he needed to say to you, to make you understand. "She is not the person I think of in the early hours of the morning when the ship is silent, nor the person I think of in the gentle hue of the evening when I should be fixing the Marauder. You are maddening to me too."

You smiled again, turning back to rest your hand and forehead on the door. He was resting his forehead on the door too, simply to ensure that the softness of his voice carried through to you.

"I am maddened because I cannot shift you from my thoughts. Your smile, your stories and the fact that you always seem to listen to the information I try so hard to share with the others. It is as if you really care about what I have to say and that, that is not something I feel very often. Not even with my own brothers." There was a painful silence for a moment, Tech was listening for any sign that you were still listening to him.

"I will admit I did try to not think of you. But you are all of I want to think of." He ran his index finger down the centre of your door, almost longingly wishing you would open the door for him. "I think of what it would feel like to simply hold you, or kiss you. To be with you in every way my brain can even conceive. Please, cyar'ika, open the door."

And so, you did.

When you looked up at him, it was evident that he hadn't actually expected you to open the door. His right hand was gripping the top of the door frame above him, his weight resting lazily upon it. He smiled and comically lowered the finger he had been using to trace across your door.

He stood slightly and searched your eyes once more, "naturally, I have always credited myself on being of exceptional intelligence, due to my enhanced genetics." He looked deep into your eyes, searching for any sign that he should stop talking. He couldn't find anything but adoration and that began to startle him a little. "I am intelligent about everything, except you. Perhaps I would also extend that to include the female psyche generally in that category," you smirked at him, crossing your arms again, "of all the things that I had thought had harmed you or upset you this evening, I did not expect an interest," he tested the word in front you, to be sure he wasn't wrong, "in me, to be the reason. If I had known you felt that way about Phee, about me, then I would have -"

That was enough. He had said enough now.

Before he could continue talking, you grabbed him by his chest plate and pulled him through the threshold of your home. Guiding him by his armour, you moved Tech towards the grey arm chair closest to you. He was somehow still talking, though the sentences were now uncertain and broken. Your heart was beating so loud that you could no longer even hear what he was saying.

With an 'oof', Tech had collided with the chair, his knees buckling at the contact. His hands found your waist with a sweet uncertainty. He softly grabbed at the fabric of your dress, wishing he was not wearing his gloves. You deliberating lowered your face towards him and he froze. Unable to speak as he studied the beautiful features that were before him. You hair cascaded around your shoulders, gravity pulling it towards him as you straddled his narrow waist. You finally spoke, "I was jealous because was able to say the things to you that I wanted to say, to do the things the things that I wanted to do," you clarified and with one final smirk, you whispered "brown eyes."

You felt the groan build in his stomach as you said it. A blush had crept up his neck and over his cheeks at the statement. You simply sat and looked at him as his lips hung slightly open. The nickname hit him differently as it slipped from your lips, smooth and loving. Tasting of honey and home.

Slowly, but surely, you finally lowered your lips to his.

Almost instinctually, one of his hands raised to the side of your chin, guiding your lips to his. His lips were softer than you'd expected. You'd assumed the rugged clones would be just that - rugged. But, as you often were with Tech, you found yourself pleasantly surprised and you felt the force with which he kissed you.

There was a tenderness to his movement, as if he had waited for this as long as you had. As if he wanted the moment to continue on forever, just as you did.

You even enjoyed the sensation of his cool goggles against your cheekbones, sure to leave a little mark when you pull away. You simply enjoyed the taste of Tech, the way his lips seemed to meld so perfectly with yours.

As you pulled back from him for the first time, you could him smiling so genuinely and sweetly and, in that moment, you knew. You knew he would never look at Phee the way he was looking at you right now. You had stopped the cogs of Tech's overactive mind and in its place, left a lusty, cocky male, who simply wanted nothing more than to kiss you and hold you for the rest of his life.

He led your lips back towards yours by the hand at your chin and he tipped his head towards yours. You felt the arm around your waist tighten as your lips made contact. Without thinking, you found yourself grinding once upon his lap, gasping at the friction. He groaned into the kiss before pulling away.

"If I had but known..." he breathed as his head pulled back from yours, resting on the back of the sofa. His breath was heavy in his chest and he looked up at you with a soft smile.

"If you but known how much I wanted you..." you whispered back, as you rested your head against his shoulder. Your breath soft against his ear.

[kaija-rayne-author]

Would you recognize an autistic or ADHD person if you saw one?

What about an autistic or ADHD fictional character?

Many of y'all will say, of course.

And you'll be wrong.

I'm not talking to hatched autistics and ADHDers. We can usually spot others like us and autistic/ADHD coded characters in fiction.

Definition: A 'hatched' autistic or ADHDer is someone who knows they're one or the other or both, AND they understand and accept that pretending to be neurotypical is bad for us.

It actually kills us, so, yeah, bad. The leading causes of death for autistics is unaliving or heart attack from the stress of living in a world that was most certainly not created for us. In some ways, this world is antithetical to us.

We also experience the stress of what's known as 'masking'.

Our average age of death is 36 years old. Think about that for a second. 36. And the rates of unaliving in autistic and ADHD kids is utterly obscene. The suicide watch for parents of autistic kids starts at 8 years old. 8.

(I don't say this for everything, but self-diagnosis is absolutely valid for autism and ADHD. In a world where people can still be institutionalized or lose their kids because of an autism diagnosis--this is fact for Britain and several US states. France is awful for autistics-- self diagnosis must be valid so we can figure ourselves out without endangerment.)

Masking is where a traumatized autistic (and I've also never met or even heard about an untraumatized autistic/ADHDer) will create a, persona, almost, that lets us function in the world.

It's rarely intentional, my youngest son started masking at 4 in pre-kindergarten because he wanted other kids to like him and want to play with him. Even though our home is very supportive of diversity, especially about autism and ADHD, y'all... he was *4*.

Being autistic and/or ADHD is so damned lonely. Especially if you don't know why you're different. So we do our best to adapt. That can cause issues.

Masking isn't meant as a lie. It's survival instinct. Because even though the world absolutely doesn't treat us like we're human beings, we still are. We want to survive and thrive as much as the next hominid. We have all the same needs and desires as any other human.

But what about the rest of all y'all? Can you recognize us?

Last week, a music teacher banned a 6 year old autistic kid from the school concert because 'they would ruin the experience for the other children' this is after making the autistic kid learn and practice the songs for weeks. 6 years old and that kid already has scars from discrimination about a genetic condition he can't help. It's cruel and so damned inhumane. At worst, the kid probably sang off key and maybe fidgetted a bit. But that would 'ruin' the concert. It's not the Estonian Philharmonic Chamber Choir, lady, it's an elementary school concert. It's absolutely not worth scarring that poor kid over. It also happened back in 2022, and again in 2017.

People will have seen 'Atypical' or 'The Good Doctor' or, gods forbid, Rainman and think they know what autistic people look like. (You should probably know that the majority of autistics loathe those shows because the rep is so bad.)

But here's the thing.

You can't see autism or ADHD. Not just by looking at us. It's purely a brain wiring difference. People don't even believe me when I tell them I am if they've seen me in person. And I'm professionally diagnosed as both autistic & ADHD.

Sometimes, there are co occurring issues, like intellectual disability, that are confused with autism, but they aren't actually the autism or ADHD part of things.

I'm an autistic and ADHD advocate. I have a consultant option on my Patreon for people who want advice either for themselves or so they do the right thing by their kids. I'm autistic/ADHD, my kids are too. I've been researching and learning about the topic for close to a decade at this point. I truly know what I'm talking about. I understand the different flavours and experiences of these two types of neurodivergency extremely well.

As an aside, while I have you here, ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) is never the right thing. You know how gay conversion therapy is bad? The same person (Ivar Lovass) came up with ABA, and it's meant to do the same thing. To torture people, most often children, into pretending to be what someone else wants them to be. It doesn't support or help the autistic person.

Almost unilaterally, ABA causes a PTSD breakdown of self coming into our 30s. I say almost, but I've never even heard of an autistic person who has been tortured by ABA who hasn't developed severe PTSD.

If you tried to use the methods used in ABA on a dog, you'd be guilty of extreme animal cruelty.

Yet, because it's practiced on human children, it's fiiiiine. Big money lobbying has even made it so that ABA 'therapy' is the only one covered by a lot of insurances.

We can thank Autism $peaks for that. They are a hate group. They fit every bit of the definition of one and then some. (So please don't donate to them at the till. They love to pollute stores like Toys 'R' Us.)

Adult autistics have been speaking out against them forever. But since most autistics (80%) are under or unemployed, we don't have the kind of financial sway we'd need to get rid of them. Yes, this even counts for 'the new ABA'.

You can't save ABA. Putting a 2 year old human child through 40 hours weekly of 'training' so that they can look and act neurotypical is just flat out torture. Making a child 'extremely hungry or thirsty' so that they will do what you want is torture. There's just no other way to slice that apple. It's rotten to the core.

But back to my point.

Recently, someone disagreed with my opinion on a fictional character. I feel the character is autistic/ADHD coded, the other person disagreed.

That's cool. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. And it's fiction, whatever. I'm not mad or upset. (I'm slightly insulted, because if you're not autistic/ADHD, [and a comparison they suggested made me think they definitely weren't] it's definitely not your place to disagree with one of us who says a character is autistic/ADHD coded. It's disrespectful and more than a little ableist. Simply because so many people have the completely wrong idea about both conditions.)

Regardless, the important part for a fictional character is that a person was able to see themselves in the character, to empathize with them. So it's not a big deal.

But it got me thinking about this.

Would most people recognize the subtle signs? They're almost always extremely subtle.

Ever hear of 'resting bitch face'? It's an incredibly common autistic trait because we either emote less or we emote differently than neurotypicals. In our world, it's known as 'flat face effect'. I have it, and I've been harmed many times because it looks like I'm pissed off even when I'm having a good time or I'm just deep in thought. I've got a firey temper, trust me when I say you'll know it when I'm pissed off.

So. You see a character (or even a person) who doesn't emote a lot? Or emotes extremely subtly? Wellll... that's a good clue.

So, X fictional character (or person) has odd or esoteric knowledge or hobbies. That's a good clue.

Are they nerdy or geeky in some way?

Most autistics and many ADHDers experience what's known as hyperfixation on special interests. Ever see someone get so fascinated by a topic or skill or activity that they get lost in it?

Forget to eat or drink?

Learn to do an obscure craft just because they wanted to know how it's done? That person is likely autistic or ADHD or both. It applies to fictional characters too.

Are they stand-offish? Many of us are for various reasons. One is that we're trying to figure out the 'rules' of wherever and whoever we're with.

Why all y'all insist on staring creepily at each others eyeballs is beyond me. I find it either too intimate, painfully so, or just ridiculous.

That quiet character (or person) who warms up slowly? There's a hint.

Another reason we tend to be cool with strangers is that ever present trauma thing. So many autists and ADHDers get to the point in life where we just don't have it in us anymore to keep trying to make social connections. A very common trait of both autism and ADHD is a lack of understanding of neurotypical social rules. And trust me, y'all have them.

Does the character or person fidget? Either subtly or more obviously?

It's called stimming. I had to learn to do it unobtrusively, so I'll suck air through my teeth (my dentist isn't impressed by this), circle my pointer finger around my thumb, tap the pad of each finger on my thumb in a rhythm, count silently to myself... the list is probably endless. I intentionally leave the cuticles on my thumbs rough, because I often rub the forefinger or ring finger of that hand over the rough cuticle as a stim.

Maybe they rotate their ring around a finger?

Play with their hair?

Stimming is something that calms us down and helps us regulate our emotions. (It's also one of the first things ABA robs us of. It's called 'quiet hands'.) It's really bad to deprive an autistic or ADHDer of stimming.

I used to click the button on a pen so much that I banned myself from having clicky pens because of how annoying it can be to others.

There are healthy stims and unhealthy ones. (Head banging is an example of an unhealthy stim.)

So a character or person who is just, always moving somehow? There's a hint. Or they're rhythmically moving a body part? Tapping fingers? Wiggling a foot or leg? Fussing with their clothing? Rocking?

Is the character or person 'a walking encyclopedia'? In other words, do they know a lot of information about either one or two topics or about many topics?

That character (or person) is often stereotyped as being a computer genius who can make any computer work just by looking at it for a few minutes. But it can honestly be any topic or combination of topics. That's another clue.

Many autists are almost hard wired to be painfully honest. Unless we've been traumatized into it, we tend to be shitty liars. I'm, unfortunately, a very good liar. It's not something I choose to do, because I don't want my trauma to change something so innate to me as my honesty. I had to learn to lie to survive. I don't recommend it.

Does the person or character truly believe in things like honour? Justice? Mercy? Peace? (Many neurotypical people will call these things social lies that keep the world working.) I'm talking a bone deep belief in honour etc. Are they a shitty liar?

I think I've blathered enough for now. I want to make it clear that I don't speak for all autistic and ADHD folks. I'm just one person attempting to share some of the more common traits with whoever wants to read about it.

A final thought.

Nothing can make someone autistic or ADHD. It's a genetic condition. Which is why so many parents find out they're autistic or ADHD when their kids are diagnosed. It's not more prevalent now, it's just that more people are learning about the actual parameters of it. Diagnosis is easier now than 50 years ago. It's been around since ancient Egypt and probably evolved as a way to keep the clan safe in prehistoric times.

We often have heightened senses. Sometimes we have what I call 'predator vision' which sounds awful but just means that my gaze is automatically drawn to movement. Our sleep cycles are also commonly very different than a neurotypical's. We probably ended up being people who would take night watch, stare at the stars for hours, or warn people when food has gone off so no one eats it.

I think we evolved right alongside neurotypicals because we're both needed for a successful society.

Many, many of the world's famed thinkers/creators are considered to have likely been autistic/ADHD based on records about them.

These people include:

Leonardo DaVinci

Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni

Nikolai Tesla

Albert Einstein

Thomas Jefferson

Charles Darwin

Emily Dickinson

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

William Butler Yeats

Vincent Van Gogh

Benjamin Franklin

People who are autistic or ADHD these days that you may not expect?

Dan Ackroyd

Darryl Hannah

Anthony Hopkins

Jerry Seinfeld

Eminem

Courtney Love

David Byrne

Wentworth Miller

Satoshi Tajiri (creator of Pokemon)

There are also many, many people who have shown autistic or ADHD traits and haven't confirmed or it's impossible to confirm because they're deceased and we don't have the right records.

It's considered a massive faux pas to assign a diagnosis of anything to a living human being. So everyone living I've listed has in some way confirmed it. There are many, many other people (especially in creative industries or hobbies) I believe are likely one or the other, but I wouldn't label. That's for them to do.

If you enjoyed this or learned something and you can, please consider a tip or becoming a Patron. My work of words is my only income.

Every historical person is just a 'likely' because we'll never actually know. All we can do is point at the exhibited traits via records and say, probably.

[misc-obeyme]

Listen idc about spoilers but what do you mean? That Simeon is human now?? Why?? When?? How?? Please I need answers

Oh gosh okay. Well I don't know how far along in the story you are, but it all begins with the end of season two in the OG. I'm gonna put the rest under a read more because it's all spoilers for anything after that. If you truly want to read them, I will outline the basics of the situation! I know I sometimes spoil myself on purpose so I know how emotionally invested to get lol.

So yes, at the end of season four in the OG, Simeon is now considered a human.

It started with the end of season two when he gives MC the Ring of Light in order to protect the three worlds from MC's out of whack magic. The other option was using the Night Dagger to sever all seven of MC's pacts. And in order to give the Night Dagger the power it needed to do that, it had to kill a really powerful demon. In this case, Lucifer. So at the end, MC is faced with killing Lucifer with the Night Dagger and then using it to sever their pacts. MC can choose to turn the knife on themselves instead because certainly killing themselves would stop their own magic from going haywire.

However, the Ring of Light can also control MC's magic and make things safe again. The Ring of Light used to belong to Lucifer, but Michael has had it since Lucifer fell.

Simeon shows up at the last second with the ring, thus saving Lucifer or MC's life. As well as giving MC the means to control their power and thus saving the three worlds from continued destruction.

It turns out that Simeon essentially stole the ring from Michael because he took it without asking. His punishment is to have his angelic blessing/grace removed. I think they refer to it as his angelic blessing in the game, but I can't quite remember. It's basically the magic that makes him an angel. This causes him to have zero magic and no wings, without which he can't return to the Celestial Realm at all. This essentially classifies him as human.

Season three of the OG takes place in the human world. The brothers come to visit MC there, but Simeon is also running a cafe with Luke nearby. So for an entire season, MC is unaware of Simeon's human status.

Season four returns us to the Devildom where Simeon continues to wear his human world outfit. Despite this, he still doesn't tell MC the truth until the end of the season. He's in the Devildom under the protection of Lucifer and Diavolo because he can't technically participate in the exchange program anymore. Thus why Raphael shows up. (I may be misremembering some of these details... it's been a minute since I played season four.)

This is why a lot of people were upset about Nightbringer happening in the past. Because we kinda just finally get Simeon to tell us the truth and then BAM he's an angel again lol. Anyway, now that we're potentially going back to our current timeline, we'll see what his status is.

[gabessquishytum]

Dream is the Omega head of his Mob Family in a world where omegas are soft and willowy and "protected" by their Alpha family members until they are handed over to their Alpha husbands/wives.

Dream doesn't have time to be soft, to be incapacitated by heats - there are forces aligned against his family and he has to keep his younger siblings safe (especially given the state his parents left the family business in). He can't be an /omega/, he /can't/ have an alpha, and he certainly can't get pregnant.

Into this world of can't, comes Hob Gadling, a rough bit of tough alpha, who wants Dream right away. They have (what Dream thinks are) secret nights of passion together, but Dream doesn't allow Hob to /claim/ him, as if he would (as if he /could/). They both catch feelings,,,,,and Dream gets pregnant. The worst of all possible outcomes -- what causes Dream to walk away from Hob, leaving him standing in the rain, is not just Hob's assertion that he and Dream are friends, but that they could be a family -- if Dream would just let them.

While Dream is all emotionally compromised, the Burgess gang is able to strike at the family -- grabbing Dream and injuring his siblings. Dream and his & Hob's baby (a baby Dream not so secretly covets with all his heart) are in so much danger, kidnapped by the Burgess gang. At least he's not totally showing yet, but if he's stuck here much longer, he will be and he can't protect his new family from this cage.

Dream, at this point, doesn't even think anyone is looking for him, it's been months in this hole, and Dream doesn't know what he'll do if he has to give birth surrounded by Burgess goons, intent on taking his (/& Hob's/) child.

The relief he feels when explosions start going off and multiple gun shots can be heard even from his hole, can not be measured; when Hob walks down the stairs -- putting bullets in Dream's horrible guards, Dream is incandescent. He's never been happier to see Hob, even if he has to waddle out of this cage.

God, imagine the emotions that Hob goes through!!! He's full of adrenaline and murderous intent as he rescues his Dream, his omega - even if Dream won't say it or reciprocate, Hob will always think of him as his. He puts holes in the guards with a savage growl, but all of that melts when he finally sees (now heavily and unmistakably pregnant) Dream.

For a second, Hob fears the worst - that Dream has been claimed and forced to bear the child of his captor against his will. But he can see that Dream is very far along. More than 6 months, and he was kidnapped 3 months ago. So the baby must have been there before the kidnapping. But Hob still doesn't jump to the conclusion that it's his. In his heart, he doesn't want to get his hopes up, and he needs to focus on helping Dream.

It's not until Dream is safe in a private hospital room that they get a chance to talk properly. Hob has refused to leave, and Dream practically begged the staff to let the alpha stay. He's been checked over thoroughly and he and the baby will be okay, but he needs to relax and rest. He can only do that if Hob stays and keeps him safe.

Hob holds Dream's hand and continually scents his wrist, gentle and careful. He keeps looking at Dream likes he's going to disappear any minute. Dream is just relieved to feel reasonably safe for the first time in months.

He clears his throat and tries to slip back into his boss persona. "Well, since I am to bear your child, perhaps you should make an honest man of me." He says, primly, while Hob’s jaw drops. "We ought to be married and mated when our child arrives."

"You that's what I want. But what about you? The family? The fact that you don't want people knowing that you're an omega?"

Dream leans up presses his forehead to Hob’s. "Too late for that, I fear." He manages a tiny smile. "And I have learnt. That life is short. And I should take what I want, while I can."

Hob doesn't care that alphas aren't supposed to cry. He showers Dream in loving tears, and the very next morning, Death visits the hospital... and officiates the marriage <3

Dream fully intends to be the king of the city, and his goals haven't changed. But maybe it'll be all the sweeter with Hob and their child by his side.

[nonstandardrepertoire]

Parashat Pinəḥas, 5784

(This dəvar was originally given at Kolot Chayeinu on the morning of Saturday, 27 July, 2024.)

Today's Torah portion comes from the book of Numbers, which is called that in English because it has so many lists of numbers of things. Several of those lists occur in today's portion, including a second census of all the Israelites in the wilderness. You may remember a similar census being taken way back at the beginning of the book, some forty years ago or so; we have to do another one here because the entire generation that was counted in that first census has since died. Or, well, that entire generation minus Mosheh (for now), Yəhoshú’a and Kaleiv, and everyone who wasn't yet 20 the first time around. But still, close enough. An entire generation, give or take, minus those spared by G-d or fate or what have you.

Perhaps because it's a census of the next generation, this list of Israelite adults contains some little nuggets of history along with the tribal tallies. We hear about Qóraḥ's rebellion, for example, and then we hear that the sons of Qóraḥ did not die.

It gets an entire verse all to itself, Numbers 26:11: And the sons of Qóraḥ did not die.

What do we make of this?

One approach is to take it very literally: Qóraḥ had some sons, they didn't rebel with him, they didn't die. That's the approach Ibn Ezra — a scholar from early twelfth-century Spain — takes. He notes that several psalms are attributed to the tribe of Qóraḥ, surmises that these must be Qóraḥ's descendants, and explains that some of Qóraḥ's kids must therefore have survived. Easy enough.

But if you know anything about our tradition, you know that our sages of blessed memory are seldom satisfied with a simple surface reading, and they have some wild things to extrapolate from this one verse. The Babylonian Talmud, in tractate Sanhedrin, page 110a, records a story from Rabba bar bar Ḥanah. He says he met a guy this one time who brought him to a crack in the earth that belched steam and heat so intense it could singe wet wool when passed over it at spear's length. And yet when bar bar Ḥanah listened, he heard the sons of Qóraḥ singing songs of praise from the underworld.

The Talmud doesn't cite a Biblical prooftext for this story, but we can find an allusion to it in Numbers 26:11 itself: If you take the first letter of each word in the verse, you get ו, ק, ל, ם, which together spell vəqolam, "and their voice". The sons of Qóraḥ did not die, and neither did their voice. If you listen, perhaps you can still hear it today.

What does that voice tell us? If you take Mosheh's side of the dispute, which the sages certainly do, this is a warning that no victory is final, that there will never be a perfectly stable society where no one seeks to challenge the status quo. It's a warning against resting on your laurels, a warning that leadership requires constant attention to discontent among those you hope to lead.

If you take Qóraḥ's side, tho, it suggests that defeat need not be final either, that a setback, however ruinous, to the cause of pursuing justice is never the end of the story — the sons of Qóraḥ did not die; another generation will come and carry on the fight.

This reading echoes Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg's quip that dissents speak to a future age, that the dissenter's hope is that they are writing not for today but for tomorrow.[1] Dissents like these remind us that the past is not flat, that the majority or official opinions aren't the only ones that existed, and that the world does not always move in a tidy line from less to more just.

Our tradition is full of dissents such as these. One that I come back to regularly as I build my own Jewish life is a dissent from Rabbi Howard Handler from 1992. At the time, Rabbi Handler was a member of the Conservative Movement's halakhic authority, the Committee for Jewish Law and Standards, which was debating whether to alter the traditional ban on homosexuality. The majority opinions adopted by the Committee reflect the ambient homophobia of the time — the consensus position includes a clause saying they will not accept "avowed homosexuals'' into the movement's rabbinical school, for example — but Rabbi Handler's dissent is having none of it. He writes:

The CJLS has made gay and lesbian Jews second-class citizens or, even worse, a tolerated minority. . . . The policies are discriminatory at best and profoundly oppressive in any event. There is no reason for us to hesitate in accepting gays and lesbians into our community with complete equality.[2]

In some ways, this dissent, with its insistence on full equality for queer Jews, goes further than the Committee would go some fourteen years later, in 2006, when the Committee finally approved a təshuvah abrogating their halakhic ban.[3] His dissent is a reminder of what could have been, that there is a radical tradition there for us in the past, no matter how hard some have tried to bury it.

Rabbi Handler wrote these words some ten years into the AIDS crisis. Despite Fukuyama's "End of History", it was a time of tremendous upheaval, uncertainty, and death. In my undergraduate gay and lesbian history class, the lecture on the early years of the crisis was the one lecture my professor asked us not to take notes on. Instead of his usual academic analysis, he just showed us pictures from when he was in college, some 40 years ago or so, pictures of his friends, with little annecdotes about each of them in turn. This one would always make sure you got home safe from the party, no matter how drunk you were. This one was so beautiful, but so annoying to be in class with. This one sang so enthusiastically, even if he wasn't always the most in tune. Each of these stories, a whole hour's worth of them, ended in the same way: And he died. And he died. And he died. A whole generation, give or take, minus those spared by G-d or fate or what have you.

In 1993, Rabbi Handler was outed and fired from the congregation where he had had a pulpit. He was kicked off the Committee for Jewish Law and Standards, and his former colleagues debated whether the movement should help him find a new job. In a decision stark in its cruelty, fourteen of these rabbis voted to deny him that help. He was left without a rabbinical position.

But the sons of Qóraḥ did not die.

Queer Jews did not simply go away. We certainly didn't get any quieter. 1992 was not the first time we asserted our halakhic rights, and it would not be the last. The struggle is far from over, but more and more, these days, it's the people who would shame us who are themselves shamed instead.

We are living in a time of tremendous upheaval, uncertainty, and death. (When are we not!) I don't know how it will all turn out. I don't know what the ledger will say when the final case has been tried and decided, the final verdict rendered with no appeal left in any court human or Divine. I don't know where things will stand when history truly, finally ends. I don't know what happens when that day comes.

But I do know it won't come for a while yet. And so even when the prospects seem bleak, when I am in despair and the possibility of bending the universe towards justice seems faint, remote, impossible, even then I keep working, keep putting my little voice out into the world. Because I want there to be a record of it. Because I want people to know I was here. Because, even if things don't all turn out the way I hope they will, perhaps another generation in some future age will be able to say "Look! Even back then, there were people who thought like this, who fought for these ideals, however imperfectly and unsuccessfully.''

Because the sons of Qóraḥ will not die.

Shabbat shalom.

This quote has been widely repeated, which makes it difficult to track down a precise source. If anyone can point me to the origin, I'd love to cite it more properly.

Rabbi Howard Handler, “In the Image of G-d: A Dissent in Favor of the Full Equality of Gay and Lesbian Jews into the Community of Conservative Judaism”, 25 Mar, 1992 (PDF)

In my experience, many Conservative shuls today go much further than even the most permissive ruling in 2006 would theoretically allow. The ruling in question explicitly says that bisexual Jews must only enter into relationships with Jews of the "opposite" binary gender, and bars gay and lesbian Jews from sanctifying their relationships with the rite of qidushin. (Instead, they create an alternate rite that heterosexual Jews are not supposed to use — it's very marriage vs civil union, honestly.[4]) I have been in many Conservative shuls in the past ~8 years where I would be, frankly, shocked if the suggestion that bisexuals halakhically ought to limit themselves to heterosexuality were met with anything other than shocked condemnation. There is the Law, and then there is the Community, and I think it's important to remember that they're not always in synch.[5]

Or at least, that's the theory. In 2017, the CJLS approved a təshuvah about trans people that, among other things, allows married Jews to stay married after one of them transitions, meaning that you can, in fact, have two men or two women joined in qidushin or a man and a woman joined with the bərit ahuvim after all. But I digress...

That said, from what I gather, both the 1992 and 2006 discussions of gay and lesbian Jews in the CJLS were acrimonious and distressing for most of those involved, so I understand why they're not exactly eager to dredge the whole thing up again.

[sitp-recs]

hello my darling, dearest liv. i hope that every morning is as beautiful as you are and every night brings you tranquility.

i’m so sorry to bother you with this question but i’ve recently been hyper fixated on third person pov drarry fics after reading attention by sarasgirl. the way a third person can really observe and understand the nuances of our two favourite idiots falling in love when they themselves are too thick to see it, it really is chefs kiss.

if you do have any fics in mind/you’ve already made this reclist, could you please share it with all of us? it would be the biggest favour ever.

thank you ever so much for everything that you do and please remember every time you smile, an angel sings somewhere.

Oh that’s so sweet anon, thank you I appreciate it 🥺 I loved reading your thoughts on Outsider POV, it’s not something I read often but I agree it can be quite refreshing and fascinating when well done! I hope you enjoy these recs :)

Let it Come to Them by thestarryknight (T, 1k)

From her position at her loom, Narcissa caught her son's lover slipping in through Draco's bedroom window.

Aftermath of an Accidental Bond by thestarryknight (T, 1k)

When you took the Mungo's third shift, you knew there would be weird shit. You just didn't expect to find the most recognizable face in the Wizarding world shoved into a hospital cot beside Draco Malfoy.

A Doll's Tale by Faith Wood (G, 1.6k)

Harry/Draco, as observed by Draco's childhood doll. Please note, this doll is very self-absorbed.

Ron Weasley and the Adventure of the Dastardly Bastard by Lomonaaeren (T, 4k)

When Harry collapses at his birthday party, Ron just knows that Malfoy poisoned him. And he's going to find out how.

so lie to me tonight by M0stlyVoid (T, 5k)

Ginny thought it would be different, after.

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not by sleepstxtic (T, 6k)

Astoria watches her husband fall in love with Harry Potter.

Doer of Good Deeds by Lomonaaeren (T, 6k)

Ron certainly knows how to recognize obsession when he sees it, thanks to feeling some of the same with Hermione. And he would rather that Harry's obsession with Draco Malfoy end sooner rather than later. Otherwise, Ron's afraid that he’s going to spend the rest of his life hearing about how ugly all of Malfoy's girlfriends are.

Maelstrom, the water told me by onbeinganangel (E, 11k)

Maelstrom (noun, /ˈmeɪl.strɒm/, from the Dutch maalstroom): 1. a large powerful whirlpool 2. a turbulent tidal current 3. an agitated and/or confusing situation or state of mind 4. a magical core disturbance occurring on an adult, not directly caused by trauma.

On the Couch by Frayach (E, 26k)

It’s a Mind Healer’s worse nightmare to lose a patient to suicide, but Mind Healer Nick Nichols can attest to the fact that a murder/suicide is even worse. If only Dr. Freud had come up with a sure cure for love.

The Girl in the Kneazle Nightie by Saras_Girl (T, 30k)

All Luna wants is for her friends to be happy. Harry and Draco aren’t going to make it easy for her, but that’s okay. She has a plan.

when by now and tree by leaf by aibidil (E, 46k)

When Scorpius Malfoy is saying goodbye to his dying mother, he doesn't expect to hear her confess, "Your father slept with another man and became pregnant with you." Grappling with his grief and his identity, Scorpius sets out to discover his other father, who it turns out has a lighting-shaped scar and no idea that Scorpius exists.

Bonus: POV multiple

Nice Things by aideomai (M, 22k)

The first thing that happened was Theodore Nott came back from France.

Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love by aibidil (E, 80k)

In which a group of wizards' rights activists goes on the offensive after a prohibition against love potions, forcing the magical world to confront the horror of magic's role in sexual assault and the murky legal nature of consent. Ron, Hermione, Harry, and Draco are swept together to solve the case, and in the process they're made to confront their own love and lust—with and without potions.

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Memento Moria

Kiiiii-shi-shi-shi! Happy Halloween! Last time we took the whole month for Victoria Cindry with our #Spooky Sidestory. That was fun, if you don't know Cindry always borrowed from a famous ghost story about a spirit named Okiku. Which means you maybe need to think a little more in hindsight about her being an actress whose story relies on a theme of toxic obligation. We touched on Moria a bit, how he serves as a warning to what lies ahead. But I always wanted to give him his due. He's such a good seed for the yonko; baiting the idea of separating the crew, the zombies as an analogue for infighting, his shadow keeping you from even touching him. How many people did he beat without lifting a finger? This becomes a huge motif by Totland & Wano.

Moria is a great villain, though I'll never fault a younger fan for not quite getting it yet. Other characters share this idea of their dreams dashed by the buzzsaw of the New World, but Moria is the one who really embodies it. He's not just someone who experienced loss, he's defined by it. I mean this in the nicest way possible, you won't truly relate to Moria unless you've had some kind of tangible past success. Laurels to rest on long enough you know how dangerous that can be. I love this "whiteout" panel, how his face looks so bat-like. If you need a refresher on why this pertains to Kiku:

Kiku's introduction already leans on drawing from One Piece's history, subtly baiting key associations. Bat-Man being one of the first Gifters is certainly a choice, and his extremely shallotesque shape reinforces the reference. For those who don't know, Moria's animal motif isn't a gecko. It's a bat, Gecko Moria. Komori=bat. That in Kiku's intro is worth pointing out alone, much moreso when we get an update on Moria paired with a reflection (Catarina) of what we just highlighted out of the star of the first act. Those two are solid thematically, now add the Ringo ripple.

Does it have to mean anything? No, but theoretically if we wanted to have one of the Akazaya involved somehow there's a certain logic to Kiku the Ringo native being the intuitive choice. It's just like the Shanks/Buggy angle. We have someone so oddly worldly in Wano and yet again a known thread is set up it can easily run through her. I might actually want to see a flashback of Kiku & Moria having a chance encounter over Shanks. If only because I can guess how Shanks would go. You think Moria might make a play at recruiting the demonic prodigy of the Akazaya? Say what you will about his necromancy, which I'd imagine Kiku would abhor, I don't see Moria being the type to care about the trans aspect. Being earnestly good about it like Luffy seems reasonable.

Moria though, just as a villain he's grown on me. Or really I've grown, lost groups of people I once felt brought out the best in me. Lazily replaced them with shadows, spun my wheels in a position that sounded like a good enough spot to be in. I get Moria, he's kinda over it but hasn't fully given up. Just taking a lazier, safer approach because he's scared of what lies ahead. Shadows Asgard and taking in 1000 shadows is a big example of growing on me. Makes so much more sense when you see how Kaido/Wano builds off of the concept. Moria has the power to be a top contender, he doesn't have the will to control it. Shadow Asgard, false divinity.

Back then, even the Straw Hats see it right away. Luffy turns to the crew and tells them to take care of the rest cause he's gonna get reckless. I love the parallel of Luffy having to take on a taste of Moria's true power and Zoro well, that time when nothing happened. Kuma's getting plenty of focus now but we'll wait until the flashback ends to do him proper. Keeping that strong and famous crew he could count on over more zombie mooks won the day. That under the threat of daybreak is good shit.

[nonsenseandstuff]

I watched season 4 of Umbrella Academy. And I have thoughts. This post is mainly for my own processing of thoughts and feelings.

I know a lot of people were disappointed with this season. I get that, it certainly had it's issues. But, on the whole, I still enjoyed it, and I have mixed feelings about some of the comments I've seen. So, I'm going to break down the comments I've seen and address them, mainly to get these thoughts out of my head, your mileage may vary, and give my opinions on the season as a whole.

Spoilers ahead!

First, personally my main issue with season 4 was the shorter season led to issues with character arcs and development.

Claire for example has no real personality. She has been Alison's driving motivation for the past 3 seasons but we meet her and she is... nice? That's pretty much all I can say about her. The same for Gracie and the twins. They weren't given any development or depth.

The shorter season, along with the time skip, made many of the characters developments feel reversed and their arcs felt flat at times. We don't see Luthor looking for Sloan, we don't see why Ray isn't with Alison, or Sparrow Ben integrating to the umbrella guys, or Klaus's struggles with sobriety etc, etc. Lila felt very stripped back as well.

Jennifer absolutely wasn't given time or development that she really needed.

I thought the overall plot was pretty good, and it kept the same tone and vibes that previous series had. It was fun!

Now, the comments I've seen:

The main thing I've seen people have issues with is Five having a relationship with Lila during their 7 years on the subway. 'He spent 45 years alone in the apocalypse, he wouldn't cheat with his brother's wife!' For me, this is split into 2 parts. First, that Five spent 45 years alone, he can cope with 7 years. Five imprinted on a mannequin and spent 40 years in a loving relationship with her because our boy doesn't do well alone. He loves hard and he depends on people. He does not do well on his own. He cares deeply for his family. It makes sense for his character to fall for Lila when she was the only one there. Secondly, it was his brother's wife. They thought they were stuck, that they wouldn't see Diego again. Having said that, I think it was a shitty decision from a writing Doylist perspective. I don't have a problem with age gaps in fiction, but I get why people are not comfortable with Five-who has literally been in a school uniform for the rest of the series- be with a woman quite a bit older than him. Or vice versa as Five is a lot older in lived experience. Five also seemed quick to give up this season and not as comitted to his family as he had been in the past, which this added to. He didn't seem like himself.

'There are plot holes'. The main so called plot hole that I've seen get discussed is why didn't they need the other 43 powered/marigold effected people to join them to save the world? Those people don't exist in this reset universe. Reginald didn't release the marigold because his wife wasn't dead and he didn't need to save her.

Where is Sloan? - Alison was the one who controlled the reset. Alison, who is manipulative and jealous of Luther having a life outside her (shown more in the comics). She chose not to bring Sloan over.

Why did Luther get his Monkey body back? This is an actual plot hole. The ape body was the result of surgery performed by Reginald on Luther. The marigold didn't cause it.

Where is Ray? Again actual plot hole. I'm guessing this was the actor not being able/willing to come back or a result of the shorter season.

Why was Jennifer in the squid, how did she know the cleanse was happening? Which reality did that happen in? The reset world or the original? It seemed to me that it was in the original, but it is a bit confusing. I think that maybe Ben and Jennifer were conencted interdimensionally, with Ben's ability to summon monsters from another dimension via the portal on his abdomen. Sparrow Ben had been drawing adult Jennifer which could show this sort of connection.

Why did the umbrella academy have to die/turn into flowers? Shouldn't they have still existed just without their abilities? No, they only existed because of the marigold. Their mothers were impregnated by the marigold and the pregnancies last a matter of minutes. They wouldn't have been impregnated without it, and even if their mothers had children, they wouldn't have been the umbrella kids.

No Dance Routine. Yeah, I missed the umbrella siblings having their dance number. But we got Jean and Gene dancing at least.

Wouldn't Umbrella Ben have told Klaus how he died? I don't think Ben knows. He was shot in the back of the head, and we don't see spirit Ben manifest immediately. I think most likely that Ben was summoned back by Klaus, and at that point none of them remembered how Ben died and Ben didn't know. He knew he and Jennifer both died but not how.

Why was Ben on the subway and why wasn't this referred back to? No clue. I'm guessing this was cut due to the shorter season

So yeah, overall, I would say that there were definitely issues. But it's still a fun show, and most of the issues were down to the shorter series and not really having time to explore the characters or plots as deeply as in previous seasons.

[artdecosupernova-writing]

Partners

Reagan Gilmore and Ben Murray are desperate to take their music and comedy act—aptly called Gilmore and Murray—to the big leagues. In New York City, the year 1950 to be more specific, when and where you can’t swing a baseball bat without hitting someone demanding a duo act with talent, that doesn’t seem to be too hard. The tricky part, however, is rising to the top of the heap when you’re indebted to a particularly notorious crime syndicate.

Protagonists

Reagan Gilmore • 29 • August 15th, 1921 • Ireland

Reagan moved to a small town in New Jersey with his parents at age 9 and met Ben the same day. Some would say it was love at first sight, as the two have been inseparable ever since. At age 13, Reagan’s parents moved back to Ireland and he stayed behind since he couldn’t bear the thought of being so far away from Ben. He’s got incredibly good looks in spades and the charisma to back it up, which he’s learned to use to his and Ben’s advantage. He can have as big a heart as he wants but he’s deeply flawed and he’s tried to quell it for decades.

Ben Murray • 25 • February 27th, 1925 • New Jersey

A mama’s boy through and through, Ben has abandonment issues and a heavily codependent relationship with Reagan. Until age 5 it was just him and his mom, Shoshana, against the world, and meeting a little Irish boy new to town chucked a very welcome wrench in that cozy dynamic for the rest of their lives. Something dark brews beneath the complex surface of one Benjy Mertz. He fears being alone, even in his own apartment, and going as much as a week without seeing his best friend is practically equivalent to being imprisoned.

• • •

"Well," Ben said suddenly. "...What if we could work and celebrate Charlotte's birthday at the same time?" Reagan paused in the midst of kneeling to hand Carolyn another wooden car. "What?" Ben swiveled to face him, hands on his hips. "What if we didn't have to miss her birthday after all? We could...have a celebration at the Heron." Reagan and Carolyn exchanged a glance, the concern doubling in her face. "Have a child's birthday party at the Heron?" Reagan pushed himself to his feet. "Have you cracked? Geevo wouldn't allow a child to look at the Heron, and you think he's gonna let one waltz into the house just 'cause we work there?" "All we gotta do is ask, Reggie." Reagan lifted his eyebrows. "Be my guest." A quick jab of fear split through Ben's chest. "Wh—why's it gotta be me?!" "It was your idea. You're the one stupid enough to think you can ask something insulting of the man almost certainly involved in the mob that just so happens to hand us our paychecks after every performance of lascivious smiles and flop sweat." "It's a good idea," Carolyn interjected. "If you could pull it off, it would be better than missing out for six years in a row." Without breaking eye contact with Ben, Reagan released a slow breath, the weight of Carolyn's words once again sinking into his shoulders with the strength of a weighted blanket. He eventually lowered his gaze to the toys in her hands.

• • •

"He pays us," Reagan reminded him through gritted teeth once the door clicked closed behind them. "He lets me live in a house with my family, and lets you live, full stop." "With money that he likely inherited when someone went the way of the executed," Ben hissed, shrugging Reagan off of him. They hurried through the hall to get as far away from the office as possible. "We don't owe him shit! If anything, we're the reason that shit-head rakes in as much as he does every goddamn week!" Reagan shoved him into the wall. "If he hears you mouthin' off like that, I will let him wring your pencil neck, do you hear me? He's got all the right ties to all the wrong people." "Or is that the wrong ties to the right people?" Ben said, rubbing his shoulder as they turned a corner. "With Geevo Jones it doesn't matter. You'd be dead either way and I wouldn't know what to do with myself." "It'd tear you up that much, huh?" Reagan came to a stop and turned to him, picking up on the neediness behind the faux-casual question. "You've been my best friend for twenty years. You think I would've stuck with you that long if I didn't care about someone blowing your brains out?" Ben paused, nose scrunching. "...Didja have to get offensive?" "Yeah." Reagan smiled.

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (24/12/23)

not as many finales as I made it sound last week cause 3 of them are just taking cour breaks, tho there's hoshikuzu and zom finales tomorrow, but that'll be on next week's post

blue - finale/completed

Anime

Frieren Ep16

great episode, like always, love when they really dig into death, memory and legacy and all that and that's all this episode was so I was content no ep next week but it'll come back in january with a whole ass arc, a good ol reliable exam arc, so that should be fun

Adult Precure Ep12 (Finale)

man I only have one word for this: disapponting I know it's my fault for getting my hopes up with toei but still

the story was pretty bare bones basically just "humans are destroying the world with climate change and we have to change our ways to stop that but can only do it if we work together which is hard" the animation was also the bare minimum, with them turning the girls back into their kid forms when transforming into precures as an excuse to reuse the old stock footage from the shows the music and voice performances were good but that certainly doesn't make up for the rest let's not even get me started on shipping stuff, like them giving saki and mai pointless boyfriends that may as well not even have existed in the story

still it wasn't terrible really, I've seen much worse, and it was cool seeing the girls grown up, it just lacked ambition at the end of the day next year we're getting a sequel to mahoutsukai precure (takarie, hocchan and hayamin main cast!!!!) and it's on a late night slot so I'll hope and pray they actually do something with it unlike otona

Imas Million Live Ep12 (Finale)

honestly just the fact that it's CG would knock it down to an 8 at the most, but.... at the end of the day my ratings are for enjoyment and I sure as hell Am Not Immune to Idols and it would be dishonest for me to give it anything else

it's a real shame it's CG, and that the SC anime will be too, especially after U149 had such beautiful art direction, it just made the inadequacy of CG stand out even more. Unfortunately this seems to be the norm going forward, with even Toei's upcoming girl band anime being revealed to be CG as well...

But anyway, the story was good as usual, following the same formula from the other imas anime of having one episode to introduce each girl and then big group episodes, ofc with the much larger cast ML has, instead they did episodes for units instead of individuals but it was still good I already said what I thought about the animation, tho I will say despite all my complaints the CG is actually great, but that doesn't change the fact that this shouldn't be the norm. if it was only during the concert scenes like love live then it'd be fine but not like this. At least it made me not dread the SC anime so much cause I saw it could be serviceable in this Finally, obviously the music and voice acting are top notch, it's imas after all it was just banger after banger and a cast full of talented queens

Manga

Jujutsu Kaisen Ch246

akutami making it really clear that higuruma is gonna die here with a billion flags but it certainly has been cool seeing him go off, really curious to see how the next chap is gonna go since this one ended with this incredible praise

[tsuki-sennin]

Two years have past since the end of the war with the Bugnarok Empire. Under the guidance of its new King, Jeremy Brasieri, the Bugnarok are now recognied by the other five kings as their own sovereign nation. However... centuries of pain cannot be undone so soon. Not when the world faces ever greater peril.

And... after that... Freaky Friday x 3.

Spoilers, I guess...

-Oh.

-He dead.

-Kamejim's an alien, huh?

-Ohhhhhhhh, that's a lot of bugs.

-Well, his majesty King Gira certainly looks older.

-Everybody seems to be resting on their laurels.

-Rita would be ashamed.

-"Oh... I see... Well, that's not the least bit surprising."

-What the hell happened to our worldwide government?

-"Please stop crying, it's not your fault! D:"

-The aliens are coming! We've been compromised!

-"I do, yeah!"

-Dugden Dujardin...

-"Right, here's the deal. You're all gonna hand your planet over to me.

-THEY THREW THEM IN JAIL?

-WHY THO

-RITA YOU RUN THE JAILS HOW-

-"Hey buddy, you lied to me, y'know?"

-Ohhhhhhhhh

-Holy shit

-This guy is just Bug-type Evolt.

-Oh my God.

-Y'know, I can't say I expected intergalactic genocide from this show.

-"Wow, you're right! I am mocking you."

-I have to say, the green screen halos add a lot to how surreal and terrifying he is.

-Hey, wait a fucking second, that's America on that earth model!

-All that with a flick.

-He nearly destroyed all of America.

-Racules you motherfucker

-Gira says "Up yours, Dugdump."

-Whoaaaaaaaa, who is that?

-J

-Jesters.

-Gorma...

-Man's got his own roster.

-Jimmy, of course, was here the whole time.

-I suppose God's sitting this one out.

-The Tyrant King returns.

-Ohsama Sentai! King-Ohger!

-Lovin' the new hair, Yanma.

-Kaguragi seems just about the same as he always is.

-Ran, on the other hand... Absolutely serving.

-Oh, short hair Rita. Love it.

-Rita's one gray eye...

-We are so back. ...even though really it hasn't been that long.

-"Freeze, stinkbug."

-Oh great, Jimmy slipped away.

-Oh

-Oh my god.

-What kind of fucking PC needs global power siphoning?

-HIMENO CAUSED A WILD FIRE

-KAGURAGI CREATED A FARM TANK

-RITA WOULDN'T FUCKING TAKE A VACATION

-Yes, kings are back, I saw last episode.

-Intergalactic clown bugs.

-We traded Dezzy for this jhkhkl

-Gorma's already come up with a perfect scheme~!

-Kaguragi's a flasher I see.

-Oh wait, no Himeno???

-Goddamn, Kaguragi's living it up.

-Yanma, you're in the middle of a tundra, why the hell did you take Rita's shoes off?

-There is literally no episode premise better for an ensemble cast like this than a Freaky Friday plot.

-Ohhhhh, I noticed that Rita covered Yanma's eye. It must be blind.

-The actors are absolutely nailing each other's mannerisms, holy crap.

-I'm glad Kaguragi and Jeremy are enjoying themselves :)

-Himeno's still absolutely serving in Kaguragi's body.

-"Yanma... please... hurry up, I need it."

-"Dude, c'mon, you're already making yourself home in my body, at least-"

-"GIVE!"

-My current theory as to why Rita covers their mouth so much is because they have an oral stim they view as particularly embarassing. I imagine it must've hurt a lot when Gira laughed so hard.

-It is so weird hearing Rita's voice speaking so casually.

-Apparently Ran's not built enough for Kaguragi's liking.

-"Oh, trust me, Mantis Lady! You gotta knead your dough and feel the burn to make a nice, extra crispy bread."

-Gorma Jumpscare.

-Gorma Rosalia...

-Ninpo! Body Swap Art!

-"Beat me, and you'll be heading right home."

-Ohgai Busou!

-Oh, right, just because the minds switch around doesn't mean the authorization does.

-Nin!

-Oh, Rita smiled, that's nice :)

-"Jeremy, you're thinking a little too generously..."

-And this is Gira saying this, so you know this is gonna be a geopolitical nightmare.

-Jesus Christ Himeno jkjhjkmnhl

-Well at least Kaguragi's employing a bit of aid.

-SEBAS WHAT

-"No fighting."

-C

-Cross-brained fox.

-"I'm arresting each and every last one of you bastards!"

-Yanma, Yanma, Yanma, Yanma!

-Aw, Jeremy :)

-Not the least bit surprising that Gira and Jeremy are taking this the best.

-"Whaaaaaaaat? Nooooo, nooooooo, I don't think the Bugnarok are responsible for this, nooooooo!"

-Huh

-I have to disagree Jeremy, that was insanely quick, considering.

-Heat stroked out.

-Having a bit of a wild day.

-"Suppose we've spent a bit too much money on healthcare..."

-There's a certain elegance in Kaguragi's interpretation of Kamakiri Ohger.

-That's a really cool way of tying the body swaps into the fight scene though, I won't lie.

-They mad.

-Bang!

-That's our Jeremy.

-We won! Technically!

-Now to remove the Ninja

-OH FUCK

-Ohhhhhhh, you're one tricky son of a bitch, aren't you Gorma?

-Oh man, shit's getting real now.

[cainluvr69]

Fantasia of the Bookstore Following Footsteps into the Future Chapter 7

Previous Chapter

Shylock: It's a bit early to be so grateful, don't you think? We still have one more volume to recover, after all.

Cain: That's true. As far as we've come, we still have one more to go. Let's see if we can find it before the day's over!

Rustica: Once we have collected all one hundred, shall we celebrate the occasion with a tea party? As they are such special books, I shall of course prepare equally special tea leaves for it.

Riquet: Then we should prepare some special sweets to go with it! Eating our favorite cakes is how one properly celebrates in my opinion.

Akira: …Where in the world could that last book be, though? It's the only one that none of you found in your searches…

Chloe: Maybe it flew really far away? Like, maybe it thought that its next owner wasn't anywhere in town, so it flew off to a different city to try and find them.

Rustica: Perhaps it is simply incredibly shy. Much like a timid butterfly hiding among a flower's petals, it may be concealing itself for some reason.

Hugo stared at the books we'd already collected and mumbled something.

Hugo: The last book we're missing is one that had been put into my care by a particularly strong wizard. The book itself can also use very potent magical power.

Arthur: A book that can use magic… I wonder where a book like that might have gone?

Murr: When it comes to things about strong magic, we should ask strong wizards! If Oz turned into a book, where would he go?

Oz: I am not turning into a book. However, those who carry strong power will naturally seek out places that hold similar strength. Moreso if they react to strong magic.

Cain: That makes sense. And if we're talking about the place closest to here with the strongest magic…

Shylock: Murr, wouldn't that be one of your favorite places to go?

Murr: Yippee!

✦✧☾✧✦

We headed to the Lunar Eclipse Hall. I've been here before with the Western wizards. Rather than searching for a book, we'd been searching for a missing Cock Robin. It was also where the Umbra Volans first took form, and where we first learned of the moon-summoning ritual.

Chloe: Last time we were here, things in the inner chamber got all messed up, if I'm remembering right?

Rustica: …Please take care, Chloe. I feel as though there will be another startling reception awaiting us inside.

Chloe & Akira: Huh?

Shylock: It certainly seems that way. Though I can't determine the precise reason why, I can still feel a swell of magic within the building.

Murr: And it sure doesn't feel like a good thing!

Arthur: Sounds like we'll need to be careful. But ignoring this place just because of a bit of danger would be neglectful on our parts.

Oz: …Stand back. I will open the doors.

✦✧☾✧✦

Oz opened the doors with his magic, and we were buffeted by a sudden gust of wind from within.

Hugo: Uwah…!

Chloe: Hey, look over there! There's something flying over here!

There was a massive bird within, with wings large enough to have caused that gust of wind all on its own. It flew straight out from the inner recesses of the hall right at us.

Riquet: That bird is so large…!

Rustica: <Amores Viesse>

The words of Rustica's spell blew into chains of wind, restraining the bird. Trying to wrest its way away from the wind, the bird rose up, towards the ceiling.

Akira: Th-that bird…

I looked up at the bird, trying to remember where I'd seen it before, and then felt my blood run cold.

Chloe: Huh…? D-doesn't that look like the Umbra Volans…?

Cain: What?!

Chloe: It's a little smaller than the first one, so maybe it's not, but… Since we're here, maybe it's…

Hugo: Oh no… B-but I thought you all as the Sage's wizards got rid of it when it attacked the capital…

It took only a moment for his confusion to spread to the rest of us. But then, as if to quiet us all, Oz's calm, deep voice cut through our murmurs.

Oz: Do not be deceived by outward appearances. This is not the creature that assailed the capital.

Arthur: It's something else? Then…

Shylock: Correct. This is the final book we've been searching for.

Chloe & Riquet & Akira: What?!

Arthur: But it certainly looks quite different from the other books we've seen so far…

Riquet: Is there still magic from the moon-summoning ritual here, even though it failed?

Shylock: You needn't worry your pretty little head about that. The Sage's wizards cleaned up every last little bit of that ritual.

Oz: Though it may appear as the Umbra Volans, it is merely a book cloaked in magic. As the book drew close to the perimeter of the Lunar Eclipse Hall, the building's memory resonated with its magic, leading it to take on a similar form.

Murr: The book's all cranky 'cause of the Calamity. It went from just a little strange to something really strange!

Rustica: That said, if it stays this wild, it's not out of the question for it to become as large as the Umbra Volans once was.

Chloe: Oh no…!

Cain: If that happens, there's no doubt it's going to damage the city. We have to make sure that doesn't happen at all costs.

Arthur: Yeah. But if we attack it, the book will probably get damaged. I'd prefer if we didn't do anything to tear even a single page, but…

Hugo: …

Riquet: Cain! The bird is coming this way!

Cain: …! Arthur, look out!

The book's massive beak was aimed straight for Arthur. It dived at him, faster than the wind itself.

Oz: <Vox Nox>

But just before the bird's attack could hit, Oz's incantation turned into white light, encircling us in a protective barrier. In the same moment the bird hit the barrier, it was blasted backwards.

Hugo: The book…! Um, L-Lord Oz. If you could use, err, gentler methods…

Oz: … It is difficult to adjust my strength.

Oz frowned, looking a bit troubled, but I could feel the barrier's strength weakening.

Hugo: …! Th…thank you so much.

Riquet: That's right! How about seeing if it'll react to the sound of Hugo's bell? Maybe it'll calm down if it hears a familiar sound.

Hugo: Oh, that's a good idea…! Let me try!

Hugo rang the bell, and he stepped forward to the very edge of Oz's barrier, as close to the bird as he could. He was desperately crying out to the bird that kept throwing itself against the barrier.

Hugo: It's okay, calm down…! These people aren't going to hurt you. You must be so upset… You worked so hard to escape the shelves, but you still couldn't find your owner. So please, come back to the shop so that we can wait for the right person for you together.

The clear ringing of the bell and Hugo's gentle, loving voice reverberated through the hall. His love for his books was on plain display. But no matter how he pleaded with it, the bird did not stop its attack.

Cain: Dammit, it's not getting through to it…! And doesn't it seem like this bird's been aiming for Arthur from the beginning of all of this?

Rustica: Yes. It seems a bit fixated on Lord Arthur.

Akira: Fixated…

I could still remember that night. Illuminated by the light of the moon, the Umbra Volans has locked its sights on Arthur.

Akira: (Could the reason they both targeted Arthur in particular really be because he's the crown prince of Central Country…?) (If there's still some leftover power from the moonstone, or even just something similar to it, maybe the book is being influenced by it…)

A chill ran up my spine, and I heard Oz murmur something, his deep voice quiet.

Oz: This is dangerous. As long as it remains within this building, it will only continue to grow. Destroying that book would end the danger immediately.

Arthur: But Lord Oz, that book is…

The ringing of the bell weakened, and then stopped entirely. Hugo bit his lip, staring at the floor.

Hugo: …I think you might have to. Since my voice can't reach it anymore. I'm sure the wizard who placed it in my care wouldn't want it to hurt someone… If one of my books were to bring someone sadness, I'd prefer to…get rid of it here and now.

It was obviously painful for him to force those words out. My chest felt tight, the bitter taste of the solution in my mouth. None of us could figure out what to say to his decision until Arthur began to speak.

Next Chapter

[misc-obeyme]

I had a random thought about our boy Barbatos because we know that Someone is becoming more and more demon I had a thought like... what if that's happened before. Barbatos has supposedly been around forever and Nightbringer was the first demon or something whatever but here was my thought

Barbatos going around and doing what he wants and not caring about the consequences is kinda fae behavior. what if he used to be fae? I mean, technically his power is pretty damn strong for a demon

my next point comes from the stuff about the fairy king being imprisoned or something like what if Barbs transformation happened originally way back then? what if Barbatos serves little Diavolo because Dias most likely to try and bring all the worlds together peacefully?

what if, and I know barb LOVES Dia so it's not like nefarious, but what if it's kind of some kind of plot. like barb does know enough of the future but (by love of Dia) has promised to stop messing with it and barb HAS found peace with that. but he also DOes know that dias gonna unite things so he will loyally serve Dia without questions and cos he can't look into the future he basically will follow every command, trusting dia

I also wonder if something barb did is what caused the demon lord to be sleeping under the castle (doesn't barb have a torture room under there) so

my wild imagination will be going forever on this until there are answers

- 🐌

You may end up speculating for the rest of eternity because my experience with this game has been that answer are few and far between. Or they create new questions that are even more baffling lol.

I have heard the fae Barb theory before, mostly because of the fairy king situation. Like in the game it says something about the fairy king being trapped by the first demon king so that the demons could take over their land and create the Devildom. Some speculate the fairy king is Nightbringer and that could be the case. But if Nightbringer is also the father of demons then that would at some point require some kind of transformation right? Nightbringer always says he's a demon, but is he??

Of course I think it's also possible that Nightbringer is NOT the fairy king, but Barb IS. Or was. Which would mean that Barb couldn't also be Nightbringer.

The thing is we don't have enough canon information on how such transformations work. At least in the case of angels, it makes sense for them to become demons upon falling or being cast out of the CR. But what would a fairy have to do to end up a demon? I have no idea. But since there's no canon saying this isn't possible, then it certainly still is!

Though I never considered that it was something Barb did that caused the demon king to go to sleep. The torture dungeon is a rumor, but there's definitely a dungeon down there. Henry 1.0 lives there after all and we've been there several times.

Personally I think all of those things are possibilities. And there are probably many more such possibilities we could speculate about, too. Because this game has been dragging out the Nightbringer answer and the Barb past explanation for SO LONG that anything could happen at this point.

It's both frustrating and fun. Because wow are we ever gonna get those answers? But also I like your ideas and they're probably better than whatever the game ends up giving us anyway lol.